When is he going to call?!

Dear Lisa,

I don’t meet men very often that excite me, but this weekend a guy that makes me giddy with excitement asked me for my number. We seemed to hit it off, so I gave it to him. This time I’m trying to play it smart and let him pursue me. Having never done this before, how long does it take for him to call me?!

–Awaiting ( ♀ Mill Bay)


Dear Awaiting,

Unfortunately it isn’t really about how long it takes him to call you, it’s more about what you are doing and thinking about in the meantime.
Ideally, and most importantly, the fact that he asked for your number should really mean nothing to you. Anyone can ask for a number, but not everyone can make the phone call! What is behind this idea of letting the masculine pursue the feminine is that, one, he is interested enough to take the steps to see you again, and two, that he is overcoming his fear by actually following through. Don’t make up stories about why he isn’t calling. You want neither a man who isn’t interested, nor one who isn’t ready to overcome that fear.

So go out, do your thing, do your homework. Avoid talking and thinking about him and why he hasn’t called (this isn’t easy at first, but with a bit of practice, he doesn’t have to be the centre of your focus!) This is important, because when he does call, you want to be able to answer the phone and sound happy to hear from him, not relieved.

That being said, if he doesn’t call by Wednesday evening, let it go. And let me know how it turns out!

– Lisa



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