Should I Message my Crush Online?

Dear Lisa,

This past Saturday night, I was that person – the one who flirts really well with the cute stranger, has a few memorable moments and then gets whisked away by their friends to another locale, leaving the sparkly stranger behind – only to be still thinking about our short-lived relationship days later.

I frequently make morning trips to their sometimes-place-of-employment, I realized, and now hope to ‘happen to run into them’ when in said establishment. I am hoping this happens, though I didn’t want it to be weeks later, and have me still think, ‘hmm, I wonder if they are there…’, before wandering in. I thought about leaving them a note there..but then again, maybe not?

It wasn’t until I remembered the powers of the internet, that I realized I could likely easily find them online. And, I did. Before I sent them a message, reminding them of who I was and our short-lived, but sweet encounter, I wondered if it was cute or creepy. Or just courageous.

–What To Do ( ♀ Seattle)


Dear What To Do,

Ooooh, I feel for you! But I’m sorry to tell you that if he had of wanted to make a move, he would have. So, no, it is not appropriate to leave him a note, nor to track him down in another way.

Why? The masculine loves the chase, and despite their best efforts can’t help but engage in it when they fall for the feminine. In 90% of heterosexual relationships, the male is the masculine and the female is the feminine, which means that if he didn’t chase you down then he probably isn’t interested. The best relationships get started this way, and when they don’t, they usually end.

The one potential exception to this rule is when you happen to make the move right before they were going to. So, you are alright to pop into his work, if that was something you had done before, but no more frequently than you ever have. And if he regretted not making his move and sees you, he’ll find some way to get your number. If he doesn’t ask for it though, let him go; he doesn’t feel the same sparkly sensations you do.

– Lisa



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