My boyfriend wants me to call him more

Dear Lisa,

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a little over 2 months and recently he seemed to notice that I always let him call me. I think it’s kind of funny that I’ve maybe called him once in all the time that he has known me, and he’s only noticed now, but that’s beside the point :)

Basically, I don’t know what to say. I read your post on not begging, and I totally get it, but I don’t want to say something snotty like ‘I don’t call men.’ or ‘I’m a rules girl’. What would you do?

–Speechless ( ♀ Vancouver)


 

Dear Speechless,

I love that he’s never noticed! The Rules are scary accurate about how relationships work sometimes, but reading it is never the same as having the experience yourself :)

I know that some women don’t reply and just call their men once in a while for a quick something, which seems to stave off the need, but it depends on how your relationship is. Maybe he’s just curious, in which case a simple ’cause I prefer it when you call me’ is all that is needed. If he wants more though, I prefer to be totally straight forward. Men respond really well when women speak to them about how things feel, so you could tell him what it feels like to call him – uncomfortable or needy. I would tell him that you feel really special and loved when he calls you, and that if it is all the same to him, you feel really happy with the way things are. Or, you could remind him of a time that you did call him and were clearly interrupting him, then tell him that you would rather that he call you when he has the time to talk as it’s easier for you to switch tracks.

On the other hand, his question might have nothing to do with whether you call or not, and more to do with whatever put him in an insecure mind frame. Maybe he wants more of your undivided attention on the phone when he does call, if you typically multitask?

Let me know how it goes,

– Lisa

 


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