Make a move or politely ask?

Dear Lisa,

The non-perpetuation of patriarchal shite leads me to believe that I should always ask before making physical advances. There used to be a subtle art I learned in reading cues such that I could know when to touch a cheek, or deftly move in for a dashing first kiss. But now there is the buzz kill of asking.

Any thoughts on sexifying this process?

–Old School (♂ Nanaimo)


Dear Old School,

It might seem a little harsh, but unfortunately there is nothing sexy about asking, in a similar way that there is nothing sexy about rape. What harkens you from the past is the beautiful grey area in between, where you take your cues, nudge her a little, she surrenders to you to a point and then provides a boundary for you to knock against and tease around until next time. Never do you actually speak aloud your plan, nor do you force it upon her.

You don’t need permission to be the masculine core of the relationship; it is your essence. Trust your instincts and don’t change with the trending winds.

If I were you, I would instead ask yourself if you want to be with a woman who requires that you ask permission to take action. If she won’t let you seduce her with your dashing first kiss, what’s next? Asking her if you can spend an evening with the boys? Or if she would like you to go check on that smashing glass sound in the dark living room?

– Lisa



One Response to “Make a move or politely ask?”

  1. Mr. Do It

    There’s an old saying: actions speak louder than words.
    If you take action: you’ll get a clear answer to your question without asking.
    Pardon the cliche: “just do it.”


Leave a Reply