I want a woman who doesn’t want children

Dear Lisa,

I am a man in my late 20’s who has never wanted kids. My major problem in finding women is that most believe that breeding is a part of the relationship progression and I do not. Children to me are creating a new relationship and changing the dynamic between the man and the woman. Where can I find women who don’t want kids?

–Never Wants Kids (♂ Burnaby)


Dear Never Wants Kids,

Of course, like any other quality we look for in another person, women who don’t want to have children exist everywhere, and from what I’ve read on the subject, there are more and more women choosing to be childfree. I recognize though, that it seems like most women want to have children (if dating site profiles mean anything) I’ve come up with a couple of ideas of where there might be more women of interest than usual.

  • Philosophies that encourage responsibility around reproduction like Permaculture. Permaculture is a lifestyle that is vastly being taken up by people on the West Coast (and all over the world). It operates on approximately 12 principals based on 3 basic values – Earth Care, People Care, Fair Share – which includes an aspect that some interpret as human responsibility of population increase. There are definitely those who are not interested in having children for that reason.
  • Career Choice: Not all women choose to be childfree because of their career. However, some women depend on their bodies looking and feeling a certain way to accomplish their purpose in the world – dancers, gymnasts, sports players. Other professional careers leave little space for children as well. And some women simply want to dedicate themselves to what they do, professional or otherwise and don’t feel that they can be dedicated mothers at the same time.
  • Interest Groups: There are groups created to support those who chose not to have children such as No Kidding – The International Social Club for Childfree Couples and Singles. There are also more religious groups like the Antinatalists and the Shakers, if you are interested.

I’m actually surprised that there aren’t more groups like this. I found various forums and Facebook pages, but none that seemed to really have a foothold here in Canada; there are plenty in the US. I suggest that you try out the No Kidding chapter nearest you, and if it’s not satisfactory, perhaps consider starting your own group?
Best of luck, and feel free to comment your own findings below!

– Lisa



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