I don’t normally have issues with approaching women that I find attractive, but I have silently walked by the same gorgeous woman 3 times in the past month. Each time she maintained eye contact with me or smiled. I kicked myself the first time for not saying something, and then kicked myself harder the next two times, vowing never to do it again. Then, yesterday, I saw her. And didn’t say anything. I’ve never been so paralyzed before. Advice?
–Help I Can't Move My Mouth (♂ Vancouver)
It sounds as though you don’t have any issues with making your move when you see the opportunity, but when it matters you can’t get it together. This is pretty normal, after all, the stakes seem higher.
What you need to remember when you are standing there with your eyes bugging out of your head is that everything you think about her is a story in your own head. For example, locking eyes can be really sexy, but it can also be a sign that she is a fearless sociopath looking for her next victim. You’ve put her out of your reach all by yourself. And once you and your mouth agree with that, realize that every dude who finds her as attractive as you do is going make up the same stories and put her up on the same pedestal. Are you going to be the one guy with balls enough to make the approach? Yes.
So, tell her you’d like lock eyes over a drink this weekend and that you’ll let her pick the night. Oh, and in case you are still having second thoughts, does the ego hit you take when you walk away empty handed hurt any less than what it might be like to get rejected? Doubtful.
Let me know what happens,