Well I have met up with a boy a couple of times. First time was great! Second time not so great! I made a big mistake of drinking wine!! Oh dear! So anywho, to make a long story short, I really like this guy. I think he may be one of my soul mates. I think he has the wrong idea about me though, as he is ignoring me. I think he thinks I am a cold bitch because he was really opening up to me and telling me all his problems but I wasn’t being overly compassionate because I am a Capricorn and tend to be a bit cautious at first. But I am really compassionate and caring, it just takes getting to know me to see that.
So. I guess I kind of feel ripped off because we got along so great and had so many things in common and he seemed like he REALLY liked me but seems he is being very judgmental before he even sees the real me. So, part of me just wants to say, “buddy, you are missing the boat!! Big Time – your loss” but another part of me really wants to find a way to get him to hang out again so he can see the real me! I think if he has it in his mind that I am a certain way that I am not and I just ask him to hang out again he is going to say no. So I think it is very important how I word the email or text to him. Do you have any suggestions??
–Oh what to do?! ( ♀ )
I am sure you already know my opinion about chasing men. And that the reason I am so against it is that it doesn’t work. In the long run, even when you ‘get what you want’, the fact is, chasing puts you in the masculine position and men aren’t attracted to that. However, I am also aware that some circumstances warrant adjustments to the ideal course of action. Only you and he can know whether this is one of those cases or not. My main criticism here is that you deeply consider what it is that makes you feel like he is a ‘soul mate’, when he is apparently oblivious of the connection. And, once considered, trust your intuition.
As for my advice about contacting him, my suggestion is that you don’t text him or email him. Honestly, if men hate being chased, they will hate it even more when you do it by email or text and will more than likely ignore it. Your best bet is to give him a call and be honest about what you are calling for. Keep it short, sweet and light. Consider ‘Hey, ever since cozying up with you that night (wherever you were), you’ve run through my mind a lot / or things you’ve said have stuck in my mind. How do you feel about being asked out by a woman?’ or maybe ‘You popped into my head today when I was walking past (insert place that you were together). Did you want to go for drinks and catch up?’ By bringing up a nice memory of you two, it could make him think about it too… which may just be enough for him to wonder if perhaps he gave up too soon. Don’t make any further conversation. Get in, get the date, get out because second only to being chased, dudes typically do not like to talk on the phone!
And then if you get that date, give him back his hunting license and smile coyly from behind a tree.
Best of luck,