I am a woman who is almost 50 years old and I haven’t been dating for awhile, how do get into the game again?
–Back in the game ( ♀ )
The number one thing that throws people off when they are getting back into the dating scene is that dating can feel like hard work! It does take time and energy to get it going – socializing, going on dates, opening yourself up to people romantically, and all of the joy, fear and other emotions that come up around it. That being said, finding love in your life needs to bring energy with it to sustain itself. If you find yourself pouring your energy into ‘dating’ and draining it out of other areas of your life, take a step back and re-evaluate for old, unhealthy patterns.
After you leap that hurdle, meeting people is relatively easy! Your best bet for finding someone who is ‘your type’ is to scour and strengthen your social circles. You might be looking at your social network and wondering how the four women you sit around with after yoga class can help, but it is actually surprising how many people you are connected to if you look hard enough.
By scouring and strengthening your social network I mean that you need to open it up to everyone and anyone that the four of you know. A great way for mature folks to set up a comfortable environment for singles to mingle, is a dinner party. Each of you choose two friends that the other women don’t know that well and let them know you are having a friend of a friend party, where everyone brings two friends from other circles they are part of, so people can broaden their network (namely you!). That means that you mean 6 new people from your immediate friends and if those six bring two more people, that makes 18 new connections. Even if you don’t meet a new romantic interest there, you will likely meet a friend, who might be the link to Mr. Right.
Next, if your current network isn’t very rich in singles, try finding some friends who are. Great ways to meet people are recreation groups – walking or hiking clubs, photography collectives, even knitting circles or guilds! You never know who will be your link to that perfect match.
Some people find online dating to be a good way to get back in the game; it definitely helped me gain confidence after my divorce. Take a look at my post on online dating pros & cons, as well as this article on Why online dating feels like a cop-out.
Enjoy your search,