The Rules Deconstructed


the-rulesMany women say that they feel disingenuous using ‘The Rules’ book by Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider to attract a man – as you might have read in this post. Some hide the book under their bed and use the rules anyway, others shun them completely and make up the rules as they go. Still others, consider themselves Rules Girls and live the rules loud and proud.

I am one part ‘hide the damned thing under my bed’, one part ‘Rules Girl’. In other words, my man knows and supports me in using them & it’s on the recommended reading list for my clients… but I like to pretend that they don’t exist. Why? Because I feel disingenuous using them sometimes… and then pissed off that they work.

I think I feel this way because ‘The Rules’ were written to ‘get the job done’ rather than to philosophize on the topics of self confidence-worth-esteem-love and sexual polarity, as someone like David Deida or Rori Raye might. Nope, the bottom line is attracting a man, and Ellen & Sherrie keep it short and to the point, only giving you what you need to know.

But that’s not enough for me. I want to go there; if not to ease your mind, certainly to ease my own. Over the next several weeks I’m going to deconstruct the rules and put them in the context of sexual polarity. I want to demystify how I see them working in real life, what they have to do with the feminine essence and what happens to a couple when they’re broken.

If you haven’t read the rules, I recommend picking up a copy, whether you are of the masculine or feminine persuasion. If you have read them, here is the wikipedia entry that will remind you of the basics. Ready? Here we go:


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